i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
