i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize