i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
