did you get engaged???
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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