school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
