Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
