i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
