So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
