Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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