just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
