And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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