We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
