Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
