I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
