It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
