Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
