Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
