dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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