I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
