he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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