chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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