dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was confusing and full of hummus
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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