Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
