I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
