He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
