Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
