thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
soo... how was my night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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