He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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