I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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