I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
