All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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