He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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