Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
