i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
