the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
