I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
