im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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