There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
