Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
