Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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