Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
