Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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