I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
