I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
