I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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