Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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