ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
