i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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