Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
