I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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