Sponge bath it is.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
