super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
