I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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